I believe that human change starts with discomfort of some kind. Maybe a person’s relationships aren’t working the way they want them to, or they lost a job, or they aren’t able to achieve their goals, or they fear the reality of their future if things keep going the way they are, or they are physically endangered as a result of a foolish habit like overeating or drug use; regardless of the type of pain or frustration, these are the pieces that make up the foundation for human change. Erik Erikson, the founder of the 8 psychosocial stages, based his developmental theory on the premise that conflicts serve as the turning points in development; according to Erikson, the conflicts people face carry both a strong potential for growth and a strong potential for failure. Christianity hinges human change on the conflict of all time, the recognition of personal sinfulness and the acceptance of God’s grace (acknowledging that His ensuing wrath was only satisfied in the work of Jesus Christ).
So when a person finds himself in this place of discomfort and in need of something new, how do they get there; how does change actually occur? Change is the working out of truth and grace in a person’s life. In the salvation experience, a person changes from dead in sins to alive in Christ by understanding truth, i.e. “the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23); and by receiving grace, “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). These two principles are at work in all of change. People need to know what is true in order to see their lack and to have a model for where they are going. Truth will confront faulty and selfish relational patterns, immaturity and ignorance, character defects, and unhealthy treatment of the body. However, truth alone, without grace, leaves people painfully aware of their lack, left to their own devices to cope with their reality. Truth without grace produces only self loathing and/or pride in the human soul (Romans 3:20; 1 Corinthians 8:1).
Grace is the key a person needs to unlock their ability to embody truth. Grace, being unmerited favor, provides the inner fortitude and support each of us needs to move forward in our personal processes of change. The human soul needs to know that he or she is loved, valued, and cared for even in the midst of failure. Through this support, a person is literally empowered to overcome obstacles. In human relationships, this principle is shown through forgiveness, acceptance, and aid in times of need. When someone can open up to someone else about their personal struggles and not fear judgment or rejection, that individual receives something they could not give themselves in their battle against personal degradation. Self worth, love, courage, acceptance and identity are all values that are forged through relationships. A person learns to love because they have received love (1 John 4:19), without this internal strength no one will be able to stand against life’s inevitable struggles. On a very practical note, a person needing change, will find it through engaging in redemptive relationships (those that reinforce self worth, love, courage, acceptance and a healthy identity), both with God and others.
Grace is the key a person needs to unlock their ability to embody truth. Grace, being unmerited favor, provides the inner fortitude and support each of us needs to move forward in our personal processes of change. The human soul needs to know that he or she is loved, valued, and cared for even in the midst of failure. Through this support, a person is literally empowered to overcome obstacles. In human relationships, this principle is shown through forgiveness, acceptance, and aid in times of need. When someone can open up to someone else about their personal struggles and not fear judgment or rejection, that individual receives something they could not give themselves in their battle against personal degradation. Self worth, love, courage, acceptance and identity are all values that are forged through relationships. A person learns to love because they have received love (1 John 4:19), without this internal strength no one will be able to stand against life’s inevitable struggles. On a very practical note, a person needing change, will find it through engaging in redemptive relationships (those that reinforce self worth, love, courage, acceptance and a healthy identity), both with God and others.
Grace has been distorted by some into being acceptance of choices regardless of how they damage a person. True grace, on the contrary, when offered in relationships, accepts and values a person in spite of their harmful choices. Grace cannot be offered without acknowledging the reality of brokenness. The fact that we have not “earned it” is integrated into the very concept of grace. So, when people extend “acceptance of all choices” as good or okay, they are not actually extending grace, they are simply promoting moral relativism. Moral relativism does not promote growth and change; its voice comforts people in the midst of their destruction and leaves them “feeling okay” about their fallen state of being. Jeremiah laments this concept when he says, "They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace" (6:14).
It is thus clear, that grace cannot stand without truth, and truth cannot stand without grace. Alone, these concepts become distorted in human hands. However, when both principles are at work together they become the catalyst of change in human life.
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